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Official Jokes Thread
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SkyBluGoa
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
20
Posts :
388
Posted : Sep 20, 2006 18:02
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Unlikely
Last 10 Things a Man Would Say:
10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool dude.
9. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8. I think hairy armpits are really sexy.
7. Her breasts are just too big.
6. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. That chick on ''Murder She Wrote'' gives me a woody.
4. Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.
3. We haven't been to the mall in ages. Let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
2. Screw Monday Night Footbal! Let's watch Lifetime.
1. I think we're lost. Let's pull over and ask for directions.
The Last 10 Things a Woman Would Ever Say
10. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of being just friends.
9. Go ahead and leave the seat up. It's easier for me to douche that way.
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7. Hey
get a whiff of that one.
6. Please don't throw away that old T-shirt. The holes in the armpits are just too cute.
5. This diamond is way too big!
4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
3. Wow! It really is 14 inches long.
2. Does this make my butt look too small?
1. I'm wrong, you must be right again.
  I don't know, but I've been told, if you keep on dancing you won't grow old. |
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Forest dreams
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
107
Posts :
9697
Posted : Oct 1, 2006 22:05
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Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.
"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times."
Nothing is said that has not been said before. |
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Pt.
IsraTrance Senior Member
Started Topics :
236
Posts :
6106
Posted : Oct 20, 2006 16:05
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Dennis the menace
DevilsDennis Sparris McHilton
Started Topics :
128
Posts :
2899
Posted : Oct 20, 2006 18:46
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wow how could i miss this thread heheheheh
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IndiAlien
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
28
Posts :
1224
Posted : Oct 26, 2006 18:36
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Quote:
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4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
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 wahahahahaha !!!
bet noone has eeeever heard that one
 & 
there is a light that
flashes |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Oct 27, 2006 18:18
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A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes Officer?"
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine." Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."
"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man. "I'm nineteen," he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be sixteen."
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Oct 27, 2006 18:22
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Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"
buahahahahahha  To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Oct 27, 2006 18:27
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Q. What's the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back?
A. A police horse
chhhaaahhahahhhahahha
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Oct 27, 2006 18:31
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Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A. They don't stop for directions.
peace n light
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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juice
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
59
Posts :
2081
Posted : Oct 28, 2006 10:56
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Quote:
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On 2006-10-27 18:18, jabba wrote:
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes Officer?"
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine." Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."
"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man. "I'm nineteen," he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be sixteen."
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Studies indicate that listening to music is good for digestion. |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Oct 30, 2006 14:20
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Dennis the menace
DevilsDennis Sparris McHilton
Started Topics :
128
Posts :
2899
Posted : Nov 3, 2006 18:28
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and oldie...
Q - how to sink a Norwegian submarine?
A - Knock on the door and they will open
reminds me of psytones
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Wizack Twizack
Wizack Twizack
Started Topics :
239
Posts :
3486
Posted : Nov 4, 2006 03:38
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sure_smoke_alot
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
45
Posts :
6874
Posted : Nov 4, 2006 07:59
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Quote:
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On 2006-11-03 18:28, Dennis the menace wrote:
and oldie...
Q - how to sink a Norwegian submarine?
A - Knock on the door and they will open
reminds me of psytones
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@ dennis
ur the biggest bully round here 
the problem with valuing art is, till u dont understand it, it's worthless but wen u do understand it, it's priceless!! |
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Dennis the menace
DevilsDennis Sparris McHilton
Started Topics :
128
Posts :
2899
Posted : Nov 5, 2006 19:33
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YourŽe so cute tommy. But admit youre the freak in the vid 
Quote:
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On 2006-11-04 07:59, sure_smoke_alot wrote:
@ dennis
ur the biggest bully round here
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I didn't mean to hurt anyone 
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