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Borderline personality disorder!
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Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Oct 1, 2009 03:17:25
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Hello isratrancers!
I thought this could be an interesting topic to discuss, something tells me that this scene has a lot of this problematics
I know that more women than men has this disorder! 2-4 times more usual for women than men.
So do you have it? do you think we all have a little glimps of it, could there be maybe a big number of people who goes around with this problem without really knowing and just feel very lost... and having big problems in their life.
What can we do to help!?
So the word is free!
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rich
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
103
Posts :
2184
Posted : Oct 1, 2009 23:33
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Interesting topic to bring up, especially in the spirituality section.
I don't want to get into my story or I'll be here all day, but I only recently learned that my ex wife of 10 years has BPD and though its been over 8 years, I am still recovering from the emotional abuse I dealt with all these years, as well as the financial toll (stupid decisions based on her demands etc). But the worse impact that I am trying my best to repair is the emotional brainwashing and manipulation of my kids, who are all in their teens now. My daughter especially, is showing the same patterns as her mom and is the most troubling to me. I don't want to her to continue on that path.
I highly recommend 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' (forget the author at the moment). Excellent book in dealing with this.
On isratrance I notice someone who's name rhymes with Poki shows signs of it, and its sad to see her fighting all the time with people. It's not her, it's her condition. Despite the years of abuse I took, I feel empathy for people in this condition. Just have to look at them like innocent victims and deal with them with love, understanding and firm grip on your own reality.
Do we all have a little of it in us? I believe so, to varying degrees.
I have to say, that just after separating from her (she took the kids and moved to hawaii), I discovered psytrance and the experiences I had at parties with the music brought me back to who I am and healed a lot of emotional wounds. I'll always be greatful to the music and parties in those days for that healing power.
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moki
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
38
Posts :
1931
Posted : Oct 2, 2009 11:26
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man, here we go again.
as a matter of fact i find it quite offensive to be taken pity for having borderline. nothing offends me more than that.
i am having a perfect psychic health, thanks for being concerned:-).
"who's name rhymes with Poki "
next time better put the diagnosis face to face ( may be then you find much more interesting types of disorder than the boring borderline). i dont usually fight with ppl offline, only in the forums, so please if you di the diagnosis , then at least with the prefix :
the poki rhymed user has a temporary online borderline disorder.
btw how can you live so many years with someone and not realize that he has borderline. i lived many years with someone who had at least 5 different disorders, i had a female doctor syndrom ( you know). but i knew at least exactly with whom i was dealing. trying to help. at the end of the day, you cannot help person with real disorders, not really.
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mk47
Inactive User
Started Topics :
118
Posts :
4444
Posted : Oct 2, 2009 11:44
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On 2009-10-02 11:26, Moki.Time.Wave.Zero wrote:
i am having a perfect psychic health
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Dogon
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
50
Posts :
8779
Posted : Oct 2, 2009 11:56
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rich
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
103
Posts :
2184
Posted : Oct 2, 2009 19:09
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On 2009-10-02 11:26, Moki.Time.Wave.Zero wrote:
man, here we go again.
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man, I hope not!
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as a matter of fact i find it quite offensive to be taken pity for having borderline. nothing offends me more than that.
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I don't think it's pity. I don't pity you. I can't help but empathize though. Hope you understand the difference.
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i am having a perfect psychic health, thanks for being concerned:-).
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no comment
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btw how can you live so many years with someone and not realize that he has borderline.
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Because I was ignorant and new nothing of such disorders. And maybe I was too afraid to find out. I just wanted things to get better. Anyway, no one not even my family suggested I go to a professional or seek some sort of counceling.
Also, as typical with borderlines, she made me feel I was the one with problems and I really did think I was the cause of her emotional suffering. For the sake of my kids I took the brunt of all of this.
I could go on.
It wasn't till I went to a therapist for help in how to deal with my teenage daughter that the therapist figured out that my ex (my kids' mom) had BPD. And what I was learning was that my daughter was following her mom's patterns. My daughter and I were having the same patters as her mom and me. Very very frightening! The therapist recommended the 'walking on eggshells' book and every page I read revealed it all and helped me (is still helping me) understand what I was dealing with. My daughter and I have a much better relationship now, and it's easier for me to recognize when she's acting up and know how to handle it. I'm still learning. My heart is so easily swayed, still, especially because she's my daughter, so sometimes it's difficult.
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at the end of the day, you cannot help person with real disorders, not really.
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I wish I had known that from the beginning.
Thanks for replying and not being too offended.
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toogoodforyou
Started Topics :
6
Posts :
212
Posted : Oct 2, 2009 22:56
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Quote:
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On 2009-10-02 19:09, rich wrote:
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On 2009-10-02 11:26, Moki.Time.Wave.Zero wrote:
i am having a perfect psychic health, thanks for being concerned:-).
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no comment
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Oh and i agree its in everyone else to a small extent |
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moki
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
38
Posts :
1931
Posted : Oct 3, 2009 08:50
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hey, rich,
first of all , i wish you strength to handle the situation...sending you positive vibes . hope you get over it.
just one thing - you ever asked yourself if this conclusion about both your ex wife and daughter might be a product of your own mind?
is this the only sign that you saw about borderline - that she was giving you the fault for everything? because this is a behaviour structure that lots of women have anyway....i would seek for totally different patterns to state a disorder of this type - like for instance the need to hurt themselves, sort of masochistic patterns, or the total lack of calmness ever...or just other things that prove such a disorder...
another thing is that this disorder is not really in the genes ( given from a parent to a child) or at least very rarely, as far as i am informed. and if this is the case, then from a mother to a son and from a father to a daughter....i believe....may be you just fail to interpret the typical behaviour of a woman and see a disorder instead?
anyway, i am not the sort of a person to see disorders the way society usually does. i think disorders and creativity are very near, as well as insanity and spirituality. you have to step out of the accepted patterns in society in order to experiment with your mind and to get to know other types of reality. also i have always been absolutely fascinated by skizophreniacs , multiple identities, and all types of people who really know other realities than what the usual person does. i love to spend time in the mental institutions too, but only as a visitor ( otherwise i have true horror visions of ever being caught to a mental institution and put there for ever)... helping ppl that i know or dont know - just experimenting with how far they go. and 12 monkeys is one of my favourite movie.
as far as i a m concerned, i have actually never been brought to this kind of institution myself. neither my parents ever noticed such thing , nor did i. i feel fine. i know i am different , very much even, and i dont fit to society ( it is like leviathan, society always kills the so called insane ppl, because society would never ever be able to understand them and their ideas). but somehow i dont feel like i need help. if i go to look for it ever, it would be with profesionals from the psychedelic culture - stanislav grof or the shulgins may be....
but anyway, i seem to be sort of very traumatic about being told that i am insane or even borderline. it offends me very deep - it is some sort of a father complex that i have: to feel always missunderstood because of being different from the rest of ppl. some months ago i had a very traumatic experience because someone i was crazy about was telling me i have borderline and give the fault to others - but as a matter of fact the situation was that other were threatening to come and really kill me or be very violent, and they were more than one men against me, and it was very painful that even then i am considered to be borderline and giving the fault to others. then i had this traumatic experience reminding me of my teenage years as i left my home for ever. i seem to be a real lone dreanger in a way. no one gets what is in my mind.
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Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Oct 3, 2009 12:35
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Hey people!
Thanks for your input! especailly rich for sharing a little of his own history! I wish you all the strength to keep cool and do right! But i guess you already found your good path,
Hopefully with help and insight that everything will be okej and get much better! Dont ever forget that the tings you do matter more than you think! Btw i recognize a lot of what you say! i my self have experienced it! And its a very delicate situation! Its so easy to get totally whack your self and act on everything.
Moki - you are a wise person, your temper might sometimes get in the way for others, but i guess we all have to learn to deal with this, casue i think we all keep our temeper too locked up sometimes, we all need release! And this is a danger when someone else shows act of anger, people react soo much cause they have their own temper bottled up! Though maybe other people should not have to suffer too much... there are limits in my opinion of course!
All and all people with disorders are necessary for human growth and we shall not blame them or dismiss them and leave them alone! No we must reach out and do our best to help! Cause really if you found insight there is hope for everybody even if it might take more time... The brain is like a modular synthesizer, and we can re-rout and find better frequencies to resonate with!
The truth is also that you cant help someone who dont want to get help, but there are situations where you can force them to get help! Especailly when there are children involved!
Be strong all! no matter your disorder 
Thanks all!
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moki
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
38
Posts :
1931
Posted : Oct 3, 2009 15:39
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btw here is an interesting perspective about borderline and females. just check it, it might interest you. from wikipedia ( i was searching for a father complex and borderline right now:
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| The diagnosis of BPD has been criticized from a feminist perspective,[127] This is because some of the diagnostic criteria/symptoms of the disorder uphold common gender stereotypes about woman. For example, the criteria of “a pattern of unstable personal relationships, unstable self-image, and instability of mood,” can all be linked to the stereotype that woman are, “neither decisive nor constant.” [128] The question has also been raised of why women are three times more likely to be diagnosed with BPD than men. Some think that people with BPD commonly have a history of sexual abuse in childhood.[129] BPD is a stigmatizing diagnosis that evokes negative responses from health care providers (see below), so it is suggested that women who have survived sexual abuse in childhood are in this way re-traumatized by abusive mental health services.[130] Some feminist writers have suggested it would be better to give these women the diagnosis of a post-traumatic disorder as this would acknowledge their abuse, but others have argued that the use of the PTSD diagnosis merely medicalizes abuse rather than addressing the root causes in society.[131] Women may be more likely to receive a personality disorder diagnosis if they reject the female role by being hostile, successful or sexually active; alternatively if a woman presents with psychiatric symptoms but does not conform to a traditional passive sick role, she may be labelled as a "difficult" patient and given the stigmatizing diagnosis of BPD |
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i dont know, i feel like i had the most difficult year in my life behind me right now. and i dont really know if it was love or borderline. whatever it was, i had no drive to live for quite a long time.
i am happy that it is kind of gone now. i needed lost of months for this. at the end of the day, is a person who is ready to die for a love a borderliner? or just in love?
whatever. it is gone now. i am free now. dont wanna ever see the man again
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Aluxe
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
25
Posts :
725
Posted : Oct 3, 2009 19:46
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I kind of hate all these tags doctors put on people when in the end they really don’t understand very much about it at all. It just seems like whomever is acting too crazy will be tagged with one of these “disorders” like BPD. And it’s kind of offensive I think, specially the word “disorder. I mean come on, like our society is so fucking healthy or like our mainstream medical institutions are so spiritual and enlightened. And the truth is that our doctors understand very little about these so called “disorders” and their treatments usually involve prescribing a bunch of expensive heavy powerful drugs for a lifetime without much concern for how these will affect their life in other ways. And for many of these disorders there isn’t even a clear definitive test they can do to prove you have it other than behavioral traits which can sometimes just be personality traits or just where you are at in life. I mean just because somebody is “crazier” than somebody else it doesn’t mean they have a disorder, it might only mean they have a way more issues they need to deal with, or they have a mess of connections and associations in their psyche that they need to unravel (as hard as this may seem sometimes I think its always possible). We are all unique anyways and to just so easily tag all these people with negative labels is too me wrong. Yeah and if they don’t have a disorder that fits your behavior they will just invent a new one out of the blue. How fucking convenient for them.
And let’s acknowledge that our society as whole is very much psycho and deeply imbalanced and so maybe that pushes certain individuals that might otherwise be healthy and gifted because of their extra sensitivity to act in extreme and imbalanced ways. So if this is the case these people are maybe just red flags to a problem we have as society and it may be why the world is so troubled in so many ways, like our collective brain is the one that has a disorder. But regardless who are we to judge and hang on people a negative label as if they are supposed to carry it on their face wherever they go as if it represents who they are? I don’t think we are qualified for that. And as soon as you put a label to somebody you will stop looking at the person, and instead you will be looking at the label. Instead of thinking of the person in terms of their personality and issues and mind traits you will just say oh he/she is bipolar as if that explains to you everything. It’s a bunch of bullshit honestly.
I say if you are going to look down on someone and tag them with a label you better come from a real position of TRUE knowledge, wisdom and heart. Not just some asswipe dressed in a doctor suit drinking his coffee while tagging whole groups of people with a negative label without any awareness of how this can affect people. I mean are these the doctors that are supposedly going to heal us?
As for a solution I would bet more on the people of wisdom like shamans, the yogis, or in that case medical doctors but with a spiritual grounded heart that can think beyond just prescribing a bunch of heavy drugs to dose the "crazy" person. Also I think our society has to finally cross into a new age where we reconnect with our psychic aspects because that’s where a lot of this shit comes from and if we understand it then we will be able to heal many of these so called disorders.
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” Krishnamurti |
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Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Oct 6, 2009 04:46
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On 2009-10-03 19:46, Aluxe wrote:
I kind of hate all these tags doctors put on people when in the end they really don’t understand very much about it at all. It just seems like whomever is acting too crazy will be tagged with one of these “disorders” like BPD. And it’s kind of offensive I think, specially the word “disorder. I mean come on, like our society is so fucking healthy or like our mainstream medical institutions are so spiritual and enlightened. And the truth is that our doctors understand very little about these so called “disorders” and their treatments usually involve prescribing a bunch of expensive heavy powerful drugs for a lifetime without much concern for how these will affect their life in other ways. And for many of these disorders there isn’t even a clear definitive test they can do to prove you have it other than behavioral traits which can sometimes just be personality traits or just where you are at in life. I mean just because somebody is “crazier” than somebody else it doesn’t mean they have a disorder, it might only mean they have a way more issues they need to deal with, or they have a mess of connections and associations in their psyche that they need to unravel (as hard as this may seem sometimes I think its always possible). We are all unique anyways and to just so easily tag all these people with negative labels is too me wrong. Yeah and if they don’t have a disorder that fits your behavior they will just invent a new one out of the blue. How fucking convenient for them.
And let’s acknowledge that our society as whole is very much psycho and deeply imbalanced and so maybe that pushes certain individuals that might otherwise be healthy and gifted because of their extra sensitivity to act in extreme and imbalanced ways. So if this is the case these people are maybe just red flags to a problem we have as society and it may be why the world is so troubled in so many ways, like our collective brain is the one that has a disorder. But regardless who are we to judge and hang on people a negative label as if they are supposed to carry it on their face wherever they go as if it represents who they are? I don’t think we are qualified for that. And as soon as you put a label to somebody you will stop looking at the person, and instead you will be looking at the label. Instead of thinking of the person in terms of their personality and issues and mind traits you will just say oh he/she is bipolar as if that explains to you everything. It’s a bunch of bullshit honestly.
I say if you are going to look down on someone and tag them with a label you better come from a real position of TRUE knowledge, wisdom and heart. Not just some asswipe dressed in a doctor suit drinking his coffee while tagging whole groups of people with a negative label without any awareness of how this can affect people. I mean are these the doctors that are supposedly going to heal us?
As for a solution I would bet more on the people of wisdom like shamans, the yogis, or in that case medical doctors but with a spiritual grounded heart that can think beyond just prescribing a bunch of heavy drugs to dose the "crazy" person. Also I think our society has to finally cross into a new age where we reconnect with our psychic aspects because that’s where a lot of this shit comes from and if we understand it then we will be able to heal many of these so called disorders.
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” Krishnamurti
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Great post!
I totally agree...
And i am scratching my head, a real mind twister here...
Aluxe, i think you hold great knowledge and ideas...
Thanks!
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Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Oct 6, 2009 05:50
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And to be very honest im probably very insane my self! And Im pretty interested about the psyche and i hope to learn more before i go totally mad... nah i hope i wont, but i would instead like to help people who have problems like this, including my self! Cause i can see i also suffer from some of these problems... not fully, and maybe there are different degree´s, some have the whole spectrum while others might just have a few...
The more i read about this so called disorder i can see that its not just mumbo jumbo, but a true problem! and i must say one of the saddest human problems i ever seen if you suffer the whole spectrum! its very frustrating knowing a person can be this way! its sounds so hurtful for the soul and i can only wish them the purest light in this world!
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Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Oct 6, 2009 21:03
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Though i probably wouldnt call my self a person with borderline.. just to clear that up, im insane in other ways! So dont be scared people! haha
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toogoodforyou
Started Topics :
6
Posts :
212
Posted : Oct 7, 2009 17:57
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On 2009-10-03 19:46, Aluxe wrote:
I kind of hate all these tags doctors put on people when in the end they really don’t understand very much about it at all. It just seems like whomever is acting too crazy will be tagged with one of these “disorders” like BPD. And it’s kind of offensive I think, specially the word “disorder. I mean come on, like our society is so fucking healthy or like our mainstream medical institutions are so spiritual and enlightened. And the truth is that our doctors understand very little about these so called “disorders” and their treatments usually involve prescribing a bunch of expensive heavy powerful drugs for a lifetime without much concern for how these will affect their life in other ways. And for many of these disorders there isn’t even a clear definitive test they can do to prove you have it other than behavioral traits which can sometimes just be personality traits or just where you are at in life. I mean just because somebody is “crazier” than somebody else it doesn’t mean they have a disorder, it might only mean they have a way more issues they need to deal with, or they have a mess of connections and associations in their psyche that they need to unravel (as hard as this may seem sometimes I think its always possible). We are all unique anyways and to just so easily tag all these people with negative labels is too me wrong. Yeah and if they don’t have a disorder that fits your behavior they will just invent a new one out of the blue. How fucking convenient for them.
And let’s acknowledge that our society as whole is very much psycho and deeply imbalanced and so maybe that pushes certain individuals that might otherwise be healthy and gifted because of their extra sensitivity to act in extreme and imbalanced ways. So if this is the case these people are maybe just red flags to a problem we have as society and it may be why the world is so troubled in so many ways, like our collective brain is the one that has a disorder. But regardless who are we to judge and hang on people a negative label as if they are supposed to carry it on their face wherever they go as if it represents who they are? I don’t think we are qualified for that. And as soon as you put a label to somebody you will stop looking at the person, and instead you will be looking at the label. Instead of thinking of the person in terms of their personality and issues and mind traits you will just say oh he/she is bipolar as if that explains to you everything. It’s a bunch of bullshit honestly.
I say if you are going to look down on someone and tag them with a label you better come from a real position of TRUE knowledge, wisdom and heart. Not just some asswipe dressed in a doctor suit drinking his coffee while tagging whole groups of people with a negative label without any awareness of how this can affect people. I mean are these the doctors that are supposedly going to heal us?
As for a solution I would bet more on the people of wisdom like shamans, the yogis, or in that case medical doctors but with a spiritual grounded heart that can think beyond just prescribing a bunch of heavy drugs to dose the "crazy" person. Also I think our society has to finally cross into a new age where we reconnect with our psychic aspects because that’s where a lot of this shit comes from and if we understand it then we will be able to heal many of these so called disorders.
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” Krishnamurti
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+1
Amazing post |
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