| Author
|
Sex and Ego (and living your life to the fullest)
|
Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Dec 8, 2009 04:35:18
|
Hi spiritual beings!
I have a question about a sometimes difficult topic.
Sex and the ego!
For me it has been a very difficult thing to handle and i have had big problem with jealousy. Its a terrible thing, a spirit killer. It causes so much pain.
But pain is also a teacher!
Maybe im not the best to state how i want things and often take for granted that once you meet someone and you make sweet love and the other person shows interest in a long term relationship that you are supposed to be honest and sincere. In my last relationship i dont think i was sincere to my self but still expected her to be to me. well it all went bananas. And the feeling of being hurt and lied too is sometimes difficult. So now i have to move on,
I know i now have chance to heal and put things in perspective but its kind of difficult, should i go out and have some sex with who ever? or should i focus on doing my thing, make music, find a job, take a drivers license, take care of my son... you know saying all this sounds like a drag, i mean i need fun and i need to love, love in a good healthy way..
i really want to do that..
Is it so important to have a partner? maybe it is or at least someone to talk to about interesting things, someone to be open with and someone to relax or fight(in a healthy way) with
Right now i just feel very lonely living in a new city where i dont know anyone. Its not a life i want and i dont know how to make it to a life i want..
how do you guys do it? how do you find true happiness, how do you manage all these things in life and create something good out of it?
And foremost how do you let go of the ego and fear? i have started to watch my ego more and i see it is really a sad thing, he just want to create all this pain.. but for what ever reason i dont know, even if it is really bad he just keeps bashing me and i keep torture my self with the past and even things in the present. I want to change this fucking mess to something good, i want to live my life.. have a good time,
just needed to get this off my chest!
eyy if you feel the same, come here and get your stuff off your chest as well, or laugh at me and my shit.. hahaha, i know we all go through pain and suffer, we all have to handle things that are difficult...
and we all have the answers in our selfs, but i think that these answers sometimes come better if one talks about them...
Give me some insight! Should i fuck more or fuck less... i dont think the fucking will solve anything! but i do love to do it... but im more into some uplifting shit for both persons involved
|
|
|
Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Dec 8, 2009 05:15
|
|
mk47
Inactive User
Started Topics :
118
Posts :
4444
Posted : Dec 8, 2009 05:37
|
hey , wow there's even a kid , that complicates things , but also gives u a bit of an edge maybe , why not just go and talk to her straight from the heart , lay it all down , but think hard if this is really what you want before you do this , and even so , be prepared for all eventualities , should she refuse , which she may , knowing women , itl prolly take you more than one attempt and getting her back , they like that , and do some hard thinking and make some changes in your own life / mind /way of thinking , should it all end happily .. you wouldn't want to be making the same mistakes again , is it so important to have a partner ? , that's your call , and you seem to have taken it , ego ? , don`t try and analyze that stuff too much , they say though , that every problem that one might have with others , for whatever reason , is actually a problem they have with themselvs , its not external , make what you want out of that ..,, wow look at me , agony aunt mode , lol  ... anyway , best of luck dude , i hope it all works out for u guys , tc 
|
|
|
|
Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Dec 8, 2009 06:17
|
Quote:
|
On 2009-12-08 05:37, mk47 wrote:
hey , wow there's even a kid , that complicates things , but also gives u a bit of an edge maybe , why not just go and talk to her straight from the heart , lay it all down , but think hard if this is really what you want before you do this , and even so , be prepared for all eventualities , should she refuse , which she may , knowing women , itl prolly take you more than one attempt and getting her back , they like that , and do some hard thinking and make some changes in your own life / mind /way of thinking , should it all end happily .. you wouldn't want to be making the same mistakes again , is it so important to have a partner ? , that's your call , and you seem to have taken it , ego ? , don`t try and analyze that stuff too much , they say though , that every problem that one might have with others , for whatever reason , is actually a problem they have with themselvs , its not external , make what you want out of that ..,, wow look at me , agony aunt mode , lol ... anyway , best of luck dude , i hope it all works out for u guys , tc
|
|
Hey mk47!:)
I dont even know if i want her back, i feel ill treated by her, and she feels ill treated by me...
We hurted eachother too much.
Of course one part of me wants her back but she really needs to change her self if that is going to happen! even if the feeling of wanting this to work out so badly that i degrade my self.
Im just inferior in this relationship, forgiving also has its shadow somtimes! some people will run you over and keep doing what they doing with no intention to change more than that the other person has to change, im guilty for that my self. But we also reflect in each other. one person can not just change, both persons have to.
I try and open my heart, be forgiving and learn how to love, i will continue to give, its all i can do. but i wont degrade my self anymore
Thanks for your cheering words!
|
|
|
|
PookztA
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
20
Posts :
420
Posted : Dec 8, 2009 08:37
|
Hey Freeflow,
Thanks for sharing your biznass with us, I appreciate you asking for our advice, and would be happy to share some words with ya, although I do not know how much they help.
It sounds like you are well aware that we must learn from our mistakes. If there is one thing you can do from this situation, it is to learn from your mistake, and regardless of whether your recent relationship gets reestablished, at the very least, your next relationship will be 100x better since you are going to learn from this past one how to make the next one more amazing and unforgettable.
So, knowing that your next relationship is going to be very awesome, regardless of whether it is with the mother of your child or a totally new lady, I recommend that you take this time to do what is best for you, and go with the 'Freeflow' if I must put it that way 
It sounds like you are in a new place, with plenty of stressors, job, don't know anyone, just got out of relationship, have a child, etc.... so I honestly would do whatever you want to do, while keeping in mind that you cannot make the same mistake again. Have fun, enjoy the one life you have, enjoy the single life while you have it because soon enough you will be in a relationship and it very well may be the relationship that lasts for the rest of your life since you have 'learned from your recent mistake'.
If having fun leads to sex and a one night stand or two, whatever, so be it, those girls must not be looking for a serious relationship. If your fun leads to some awesome music being made and some good beers being drank, so be it, it sounds like that was productive and worth-while as well. If having fun leads you into a serious relationship right away, so be it, she could be the one that you have been looking for your entire life, if you both treat each other the way you deserve to be treated.
Sorry if I sound like a counselor or a Dad, but i figured i would try to let you know that you sound like a cool guy that deserves to be happy, so do what makes you happy, and learn from your past mistakes to achieve new levels of happiness, and to sustain those levels of happiness even longer than before, perhaps even forever.
You already know what to do , but thanks for asking for our advice anyway.
Hope this helped in some way...
All the best to you my distant trance-brother.
Sincerely,
-Abe
 Abrahm
Spreading Psytrance and Love in the Midwest USA
|
|
|
|
Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Dec 8, 2009 22:20
|
Quote:
|
On 2009-12-08 08:37, PookztA wrote:
Hey Freeflow,
Thanks for sharing your biznass with us, I appreciate you asking for our advice, and would be happy to share some words with ya, although I do not know how much they help.
It sounds like you are well aware that we must learn from our mistakes. If there is one thing you can do from this situation, it is to learn from your mistake, and regardless of whether your recent relationship gets reestablished, at the very least, your next relationship will be 100x better since you are going to learn from this past one how to make the next one more amazing and unforgettable.
So, knowing that your next relationship is going to be very awesome, regardless of whether it is with the mother of your child or a totally new lady, I recommend that you take this time to do what is best for you, and go with the 'Freeflow' if I must put it that way
It sounds like you are in a new place, with plenty of stressors, job, don't know anyone, just got out of relationship, have a child, etc.... so I honestly would do whatever you want to do, while keeping in mind that you cannot make the same mistake again. Have fun, enjoy the one life you have, enjoy the single life while you have it because soon enough you will be in a relationship and it very well may be the relationship that lasts for the rest of your life since you have 'learned from your recent mistake'.
If having fun leads to sex and a one night stand or two, whatever, so be it, those girls must not be looking for a serious relationship. If your fun leads to some awesome music being made and some good beers being drank, so be it, it sounds like that was productive and worth-while as well. If having fun leads you into a serious relationship right away, so be it, she could be the one that you have been looking for your entire life, if you both treat each other the way you deserve to be treated.
Sorry if I sound like a counselor or a Dad, but i figured i would try to let you know that you sound like a cool guy that deserves to be happy, so do what makes you happy, and learn from your past mistakes to achieve new levels of happiness, and to sustain those levels of happiness even longer than before, perhaps even forever.
You already know what to do , but thanks for asking for our advice anyway.
Hope this helped in some way...
All the best to you my distant trance-brother.
Sincerely,
-Abe
|
|
Hi PookztA! Thanks for your wise and uplifting words. I needed those, a counselor or a Dad is sometimes what we need. Your guidance means a lot! I will try and do what i want and get out of this depression. I hate my own self pity! But sometimes i think there is not much we can do about it than to cry those tears and try and snap out of it and start doing things.
All the best to you my distant trance brother! what you say means much too me.
Be well
|
|
|
|
TheOneWhoMakesYouCrazy
Started Topics :
6
Posts :
165
Posted : Dec 8, 2009 23:38
|
Hey Freeflow,
I would be careful with you next steps.I know what you expirience I have it atleast one time.I have a son too.
Of course do what you like,but sometimes our mind is in a upside down state and the situtaiton is hurting much more when realizing what really have happend when it is too late ,there is a no go then anymore.
I did so too and after a few girls I made horrible heart expiriences ,hurting remindings of my ex - love which I have lost for my own failures .Ego failures.
It has been a few years now and I never felt in real love again.Always looking for real love - this is my problem,I cant get happy when I don'T have real love like a soulmate parnter.
Nothing makes to me more sense in this trip called life.
I would make a distance to be clear with mind,see whith your heart only and things will happen as they should have,concentrate on sincere things like music ,maybe meditation - I would recommend you this - in this situtation it can make wonders..but than if it succeeds watch again your EGo...... or was it words for mine? however.
Good luck bro.Your psy bro.D. |
|
|
|
Freeflow
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
60
Posts :
3709
Posted : Dec 9, 2009 01:12
|
Quote:
|
On 2009-12-08 23:38, TheOneWhoMakesYouCrazy wrote:
Hey Freeflow,
I would be careful with you next steps.I know what you expirience I have it atleast one time.I have a son too.
Of course do what you like,but sometimes our mind is in a upside down state and the situtaiton is hurting much more when realizing what really have happend when it is too late ,there is a no go then anymore.
I did so too and after a few girls I made horrible heart expiriences ,hurting remindings of my ex - love which I have lost for my own failures .Ego failures.
It has been a few years now and I never felt in real love again.Always looking for real love - this is my problem,I cant get happy when I don'T have real love like a soulmate parnter.
Nothing makes to me more sense in this trip called life.
I would make a distance to be clear with mind,see whith your heart only and things will happen as they should have,concentrate on sincere things like music ,maybe meditation - I would recommend you this - in this situtation it can make wonders..but than if it succeeds watch again your EGo...... or was it words for mine? however.
Good luck bro.Your psy bro.D.
|
|
Hi TheOneWhoMakesYouCrazy =)
Thanks for your advice, i take it to my heart, this is exactly how i feel, leaving the down spiral before getting involved in romance again.
I feel i dont want to meet someone new right now. Its not the time for that! It will feel wrong in my heart.
My hope goes to you that love will strike hard in your heart and in the one you meet and that you from your mistakes can make it to a great relationship.
Good luck bro!
|
|
|
|
PookztA
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
20
Posts :
420
Posted : Dec 9, 2009 05:13
|
just have fun man, you deserve it take your boy to the Zoo! animals are awesome
Abrahm
Spreading Psytrance and Love in the Midwest USA
|
|
|
|
Xolvexs
IsraTrance Senior Member
Started Topics :
241
Posts :
2848
Posted : Dec 9, 2009 11:57
|
sex and ego are for the lower beings those that live the life of Stula-physical Prana-energy, Linga-Emotions and Kama Manas-Intellect...the higher beings are capable of waiting & watching while the lower beings are always WANTING--i want this i want that...the ultimate self is Atma which is always creating-sometimes good sometimes a mess--sometimes re-inventing.
in the higher spiritual world sex and ego serve absolutely no purpose unless its for pro-creation..the penis enters the vagina and the thought manifests itself physically as little gooey mass of highly toxic human...immideitly after the ego enters in form of --this is me ..then the ego is sheltered and protected and at some stage ego dissapears..its never there but you want it to be there...and because its not there the EGO shows up in shades of gray when the color gray amplified it is silver.
when you astral project you use the silver cord which is located in the Naval area..this cord is just like an umbilical cord...
When death comes to your doorstep, make sure you are alive |
|
|
|
moki
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
38
Posts :
1931
Posted : Dec 9, 2009 16:22
|
i was opening this topic so many times and every time i started to write something, i deleted it after that. and this time i will do the same - i just deleted most of the post and will leave only the first few sentences.
i just cant think of anything wise that i could say here. because i feel hopeless as well. i cant be wise, because i dont know how to live through that either. it is just the part of human life that hurts most.
and i am even very suspicious that it will hurt till the end of my life.
there is not even one day since almost one year that i dont think of this person. and i cry. then, i do the impossible to put the sorrow very deep inside and forget it and keep a smile for the outside world. but as a matter of fact, i care about noone else so much like about one single person. i miss the purpose of life if i cant think of him.
i know there are many examples of people and couples who are happy for many years and i can only wish them to keep their joy and happiness forever. if they can. but as far as i am concerned , i feel like i am the saddest person in the universe. it is not because of sex. but it might be because of ego. and the ego has very unpleasant methods to keep you squeezed in one and the same idea - that one single person was your only entrance to happiness in life so if you lose the person, you lost your life. at least this i know it is wrong. happiness must be possible in full loneliness too. we come alone to this world and leave it alone too. (not sure though).
it is just so difficult to live with the idea that you will never be with the person you love. and it can take even years to live through that. and you still never learn to do it.
for many months now i felt like i dont wanna be with anyone else than him. now after almost one year , i know that it is time to make a try because if i continue like that i will either end up alone for the rest of my life ( which seems meaningless without him anyway) , or i will end up in a big human drama of dying for a love. the problem is that in this condition i cant lie anyone else and i cant hide it. i cannot hide that my heart is in blood because of another one and i even think of him during sex with others. so better no sex at all.
it is complicated, i knew i will start writing here and i will not say anything wise. i will not say anything at all. i can only hope that time heals. and i love him so much. may be it is because i never had him. my ego is tricking me. i am not like all those ppl who are sad because they lost someone they were together with. i am sad because i never had him.
but at the end of the day - love means inspiration. it is sometimes even nice to cry and to know that you are not a stone and you truely truely love a person. and it is nice to see that he lives. he breathes.
hm, now i wrote another dramatic post like the mail section of a teenager magazine. meaningless. the hardest think is to tell the ego that life can go on. that you can be full without this person too.
whatever it is. dont know why i write here. i can only hope that time heals. and if not, then nothing ever heals. may be it is really worth at least one try with another person. just a try.
love is one thing but being alone in life is a totally different thing. ppl are social creatures. they cannot survive if they are alone. never ever. only for short time. then no. i just dont know why it is so important to love the impossible. i never loved anyone else like that. and even ppl with whom i live for years as a couple, i did it only because we were good friends. sex and love and true devotion is a totally different thing. may be i need to finally go to become a nun. to devote to god. he will never dissapear and never hurt me.
|
|
|
|
moki
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
38
Posts :
1931
Posted : Dec 9, 2009 16:26
|
anyway enough of the drama. keep a big smile and good luck to all broken hearts out there. a big virtual hug to you brothers and sisters. life goes on.
never give up. |
|
|
|
Xolvexs
IsraTrance Senior Member
Started Topics :
241
Posts :
2848
Posted : Dec 10, 2009 15:49
|
moki i have mantra for you
"enjoy the pain"
When death comes to your doorstep, make sure you are alive |
|
|
|
toogoodforyou
Started Topics :
6
Posts :
212
Posted : Dec 10, 2009 21:46
|
Quote:
|
On 2009-12-08 04:35:18, Freeflow wrote:
I know i now have chance to heal and put things in perspective but its kind of difficult, should i go out and have some sex with who ever? or should i focus on doing my thing, make music, find a job, take a drivers license, take care of my son... you know saying all this sounds like a drag, i mean i need fun and i need to love, love in a good healthy way..
i really want to do that..
Give me some insight! Should i fuck more or fuck less... i dont think the fucking will solve anything! but i do love to do it... but im more into some uplifting shit for both persons involved
|
|
LOL, dude.... you gotta do your things (make music, find a job, take a drivers license, take care of your son) whether you are having sex or not. I mean having sex is not going to solve all these problems. But solving all those problems will probably help you find some love / sex (which is not really a solution to anything).
Another advice is try connecting to every person male or female. Take interest in the life of others. Love yourself and learn to give love. Think of this period as a growth phase. |
|
|
|
toogoodforyou
Started Topics :
6
Posts :
212
Posted : Dec 10, 2009 21:47
|
Quote:
|
On 2009-12-09 16:26, Moki.Time.Wave.Zero wrote:
anyway enough of the drama. keep a big smile and good luck to all broken hearts out there. a big virtual hug to you brothers and sisters. life goes on.
never give up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
