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SATIRE: Drug-seekers Guide to Trance Galaxy
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Pete Sideburner
Started Topics :
4
Posts :
67
Posted : Feb 12, 2008 23:36
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So, finally you catched the Goa virus.
Well, good for you!
Now you can attend to that parties you have heard so much about. You can be part of that glorious trance magic and become a truely free spirit.
Of course you don't want to stand out as some kind of tourist or newbie so here are some useful tips for you to perfectly fit in the scene and therefore meet hundreds and thousands of new friends.
1. Getting Inside
First of all, you should gather some cursory knowledge about drugs from the internet. You will experience the drugs anyway - don't worry, fun and excitement are guaranteed - but by smattering about drugs and drug experiences you will meet people from all over the globe. And if your drugs are working, this will give you a warm, deep sensation of belonging.
Voilá, that's it!
Congratulations, you're already an insider of the trance scene. It really is that easy!
From now on, attend to parties every weekend, buy or download the newest, freshest albums, try out every drug there is and share your experiences with your weekend friends.
Frankly, that's what it's all about.
  I love humanity but I hate people. |
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Pete Sideburner
Started Topics :
4
Posts :
67
Posted : Feb 12, 2008 23:37
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2. Attitude and Behavior
During your first drug experiences you will discover that you don't like to be annoyed by other people and that human conflict in any way is essentially stressfull if not even a real bummer. It is much more pleasant to avoid conflict and therefore not to criticize or bitch about something or someone, even if that something or someone really is annoying. You will find out that most trancers are quite anal about not being annoying. This is what we call tolerance or having an open mind.
But to fully get into the trance experience you need to take one step further and become a free spirit. For it, you have to avoid dubious situations during interaction with others in a progressive way. Block the situation before it occurs. Always show yourself from your bright side, never stop smiling, hug your friends for no reason, give your bottle of water to strangers and never talk about things in a way that people could disagree to, be offended of or just be intellectually overstrained from. That could destroy any peaceful atmosphere and therefore be really annoying. You better try your best to create a good atmosphere even if the circumstances stand against it, like bad weather, chavy tent neighbors, a commercialized party with high prices or simply music that really sucks. Don't complain, be happy! If you find that hard to do, don't worry, the drugs will always help you to sustain your free spirit.
Another way of avoiding uncomfortable situations is to play hard to get. Instead of smiling look inapproachable and give yourself an impression of having deep important thoughts or act as a person that deserves respect for some unknown reason. Don't hug people, better stay a little apart from the events around you, appear to be a little bit mysterious. But be careful with this attitude because there is only a thin line between a mysterious person and an arrogant ass, especially if you use drugs to maintain that state. Arrogance is annoying, trancers hate to be annoyed, so this could be a path of loneliness for you.
I love humanity but I hate people. |
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Pete Sideburner
Started Topics :
4
Posts :
67
Posted : Feb 12, 2008 23:37
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3. The Dancefloor
The dancefloor is the ritual center of the trance world. Here it all happens and everybody carefully tries to preserve the dancefloor as a space of mental freedom and human expression. Anything goes. If you like to get drunk and high until you tumble around with rolling eyes and grinding jaws, the night is the right time for you to be there. Express your free spirit by rapidly hoicking up your beer so the fluid spreads all over everybody. Scream and whistle, if possible louder than the music itself. Don't be discouraged by the word dancefloor. You don't have to dance at all. Just stand around with your buddies, shoot down lots of Jägermeisters, pop a lot of pills and stare at the lasers. It is all possible here.
Even if the experience lost a little bit of the thrill it used to have at the beginning, don't worry. Just try out another spot on the dancefloor - maybe it's better over there. Just walk right through the crowd and don't care too much about the others. This is an open minded crowd of tolerance. Everybody will understand your desire to pave your way back and forth on the dancefloor, and they all will have sympathy for your inability to walk straight.
If you are more into human connection with others or just showing off your new outfit, you should attend to the dancefloor at day time. Again, you don't have to dance. Waggling a little with your knees and butt should do the trick. It is acutally much more important to know who is playing the set right now, so you can chat with strangers where you have seen the artist before and if it has been good or not. This will give an impression of you as a man or woman who came around a lot.
The dancefloor is a good place to show others your individuality. Buy yourself a drum and pound the hell out of it. It doesn't even matter if you are in time with the music as long as your face shows that you are in a state of trance. Everyone will respect and appreciate that expression of yourself very much.
I love humanity but I hate people. |
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Pete Sideburner
Started Topics :
4
Posts :
67
Posted : Feb 12, 2008 23:37
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4. Music
Although most trancers still correspond to their music-of-choice as psytrance, no one really cares anymore about psychedelic music in the sense of revealing one's soul by triggering its underlying emotions. That's just old fashioned. There are basically three different styles in the trance scene: fullon, darkpsy and progressive.
Fullon is fast with an endlessly repitive bassline simlilar to an Israeli machine gun fire and the use of the same sounds and patterns over and over again. The deployment of familiar sounds and patterns guarantees a cushy and safe feeling for the trancer as surprises can be annoying and scary, and complex musical patterns demand some listening effort which exhausts and annoys most trancers, especially while on drugs. The excitement of fullon arises from lots of sudden breaks and changes in the musical flow and fast-paced sound modulation, that go all the way up and down in just a few bars. This prevents excessive demands on the trancer's short term memory. The special popularity of fullon within the scene is based on the excessive use of long-winded breaks that all end up in a loud climax of drum rolls and siren sounds similar to that rave anthems of the early 90ies. This suits perfectly to the expression of one's free individual spirit through collective loud screaming and hoicking up beer cans.
Darkpsy is even faster than fullon. It's a much more aggressive approach to trance. Its bassline sounds like the helicopters from Apokalypse Now, while the leads and sounds come down on you like tons of burning Napalm. If fullon sounds like clean military marching, this is the whole war machine rolling over the desert while you go gaga dancing to it. The goal of darkpsy is to stack as much scary sounds and loud noises on top of each other and to twirl them around as fast and chaotic as possible. Fullon can be heard at night as well as day time while delivering some kind of trusty hip and trendy feeling. Darkpsy certainly better fits into a long night of free spirited self loss and open minded intoxication, while delivering no musical sense at all. This is just perfect for dosed up trancers who lost all concept of themselves or the world around them.
Progressive is the neat little child of the suburban marriage between psytrance and techno. It's clean, it's soft, it's square and it never puts any burden on you. It's the petit-bourgeois of trance. It has techy beats and only a few sounds that are properly arranged like the desk of an honor student. It usually takes time to tell its story, sometimes so much of it that you just forget listening to it. It certainly is best suited for overfatigued insomnia on Sunday afternoons.
To find your place in the trance scene, you have to decide about your preferred style. Your identity of trance depends on it and if you really want to chat about other things than drugs, you should really adopt a musical position. Observations have shown that the wilder styles like fullon and darkpsy are more likely attended by younger trancers while older ones tend to progressive. Therefore you could call progressive a more mature kind of trance. This goes so far that people with a lot of experience in trance love music where absolutely nothing happens. This is called minimal, the most sophisticated trance style. The reason is that the brain of the mature trancer has gained such a fine sensibility over years of drug use that it just doesn't need any more musical stimulation to get into trance. All it needs is a metronome to know excactly when to waggle the knees. This state is the highest reachable state of trance. This is the dancefloor's Nirvana.
I love humanity but I hate people. |
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Pete Sideburner
Started Topics :
4
Posts :
67
Posted : Feb 12, 2008 23:38
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5. Outfit and Styling
Outfit and styling are very important within the trance scene. Of course, we are all open-minded individualists and so anything goes. The relevant thing is, not to wear homely workaday clothes. That's boring and boredom is even more annoying and depressing than criticism. As stated before, the best way to get into the trance experience is to help create a pleasant atmosphere. Your outfit should add to that.
As a male you basically have two different kinds of looks. One is to go on a drug diet until you are all pale and skinny. It is not respectable for a man to wear makeup but your dark circles around your eyes by then should do the trick for an expressive face. Don't shave for a while, let your hair grow wild and wear a funny hat. Then you will look like a hobbit with AIDS and that will please many trancers. Buy yourself some crappy, overpriced clothes at the shopping mile of your local trance festival and alter it with corny patches of mushrooms and aliens and you will soon be an accepted trancer yourself.
The other look for a man on trance parties is a bit different. Eat a lot of proteins, work out until you look like a gummy bear, shave your head so it can twinkle in the sun and get yourself some tribal tattoo around your shoulder muscles. With your ducks and your fanny pack you then just look like the perfect trance soldier wearing the uniform of the United Trance army.
The way you style as a woman highly depends on which of the two male looks you find attractive and how you want to impress your female friends. The more you like bold gummy bears the more skin and flesh you will show. The more you like HIV-positive hobbits the more likely you will have dreadlocks and wear the same excessive fluoro wear as your male peers. What is important for you as a woman are ornaments. Drape your neck with necklaces, put tiny bells in your dreadlocks or around your ankles and paint the back of your hand with some henna tattoos. This will both present you as an individualist as well as an accepted trancer.
It is absolutely appropriate for a trance woman to stay in her tent for over half an hour to try out different clothes and fix her outfit until it fits just right. From that perspective, there is no difference between a free spirited trance woman and an ordinary one like your mother. You are actually so free that you can go much further and change your outfit three or four times a day. A real trance woman always looks perfect for each live act she is about to see and dance to. Therefore you should plan ahead and allow for styling up before reaching the dancefloor just in time for your favorite liveact or DJ. Then dance, smile and present yourself with your outfit and then come back to the tent and whine to your camp buddies about all the annoying men who couldn't let the eyes of you or wanted to flirt with you. This will make you an interesting, liberated woman.
I love humanity but I hate people. |
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Pete Sideburner
Started Topics :
4
Posts :
67
Posted : Feb 12, 2008 23:38
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6. Gaining Acceptance and Respect
In order to become a well-established and respected part of the scene, of course you have to make some more effort. No one gets respected by just being some place. The easiest way of gaining acceptance and respect in the trance scene is to buy yourself a truck load of drugs and sell them on parties urgently telling your customers that you have the most and best drugs in the whole wide galaxy. This will bring you a lot of peers.
A more sustainable and safer way is to become a DJ or an artist. Becoming a DJ is easy. Just pick a distinctive, established trance style to have something to argue about with other DJs. Now make sure that you only play the style of your choice and only the newest and freshest tracks, no matter if they are actually good. The DJ who plays the newer tracks than the other will be the one more appreciated, at least by other DJs. The people on the dancefloor usually can't tell the tunes appart or judge wether the music is good or bad anyway – they dance to anything as long as it sounds familiar. If your fingers are to clumsy to operate a CD-player or a turntable, don't worry, there is adequate software available that will do all the work for you. It is an easy job.
Becoming an artist is nearly as easy. Of course you have to learn how to operate sequencers and synthesizers but with a powerful computer it's not that hard anymore. The good thing about such a free spirited scene as the trance scene is that you don't need musical talent or to even waste endless hours in the studio with arrangement and sound design. You don't need to produce some top quality, inventive tracks. An average standard is quite enough and easy to reach. There are many labels out there seeking to release the most tracks in the shortest period of time, so it shouldn't be a problem for you to get in the game, and thanks to the drugs the doped up crowd will love your music anyway as long as it has enough punchy breaks to rave up the dancefloor. If the avarage drug-seeker can easily classify your music as one of the three established trance styles, you definitely will have some fans screaming and some organizers booking – at least for one summer.
As a DJ and artist you will have easy access to drugs, sex and most of all to a feeling of actually being someone important and beloved. Go that way, it pays off, even if it needs some effort at first.
If you are a woman, congratulations, because you are lucky. You don't have to do much work to become a well accepted part of the scene. You don't have to bother to waste endless hours learning how to operate a pitchable CD-player let alone a synthesizer. All you lucky females need is a slender body, colorful clothes and ethnic-something looking ornaments around your neck and wrists.
Read a book about some cabalistic mumbo jumbo like Reiki, Yoga or Astrology, adopt the posture and glance of a Shiva figurine, chatter with everyone about spiritual issues and universal love and you will be very well respected within the scene as a wise and independant woman, especially if you're over thirty years old.
For younger women it can be helpful to have an outstanding boyfriend to attend to. Let it be a drug dealer, a DJ, an organizer or just a guy with a remarkable look like a crazy haircut or some flamboyant outfit. The important thing is that he is well-established within your local trance scene. By dating him you gain as much acceptance and respect as he does without lifting a finger. All you have to do is be easy, but carefully pick your boyfriends by their social status and learn how to twirl around the dancefloor waving your arms and necklaces like a cute and tiny pixie from wonderland. If you're really good at it, your ugly girlfriend might even get something off your acceptance and glory within the scene. Maybe you will even meet one of those widely travelled old hippie seniors who will just love your tiny waist as much as sharing with you their weird, deranged acid wisdom about the trance journey of life.
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Well, so that's it. Now you know the basics to get into trance.
Welcome to our galaxy and have fun!
© 2008 by Sergio Weigel, Hamburg, Germany
I love humanity but I hate people. |
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Ellon
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
56
Posts :
1223
Posted : Feb 12, 2008 23:54
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Zman
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
14
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3784
Posted : Feb 13, 2008 03:54
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hehe i enjoyed reading  |
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Login
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
65
Posts :
1707
Posted : Feb 13, 2008 05:25
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wow man large post here, very cool indeed.
stil laughing
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NextWorld
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
12
Posts :
397
Posted : Feb 13, 2008 08:49
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Nice one  |
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freakshow
Started Topics :
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Posts :
70
Posted : Feb 13, 2008 12:07
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nice one there.....
spirits of the plants |
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Mad Purple State
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
39
Posts :
1468
Posted : Feb 13, 2008 13:25
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Fking hilarious man...  for the guy who composed it.
No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness... |
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Fragletrollet
Fragletrollet
Started Topics :
111
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1748
Posted : Feb 13, 2008 13:43
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Elad
Tsabeat/Sattel Battle
Started Topics :
158
Posts :
5306
Posted : Feb 13, 2008 14:14
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Quote:
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On 2008-02-12 23:38, Pete Sideburner wrote:
6. Gaining Acceptance and Respect
In order to become a well-established and respected part of the scene, of course you have to make some more effort. No one gets respected by just being some place. The easiest way of gaining acceptance and respect in the trance scene is to buy yourself a truck load of drugs and sell them on parties urgently telling your customers that you have the most and best drugs in the whole wide galaxy. This will bring you a lot of peers.
A more sustainable and safer way is to become a DJ or an artist. Becoming a DJ is easy. Just pick a distinctive, established trance style to have something to argue about with other DJs. Now make sure that you only play the style of your choice and only the newest and freshest tracks, no matter if they are actually good. The DJ who plays the newer tracks than the other will be the one more appreciated, at least by other DJs. The people on the dancefloor usually can't tell the tunes appart or judge wether the music is good or bad anyway – they dance to anything as long as it sounds familiar. If your fingers are to clumsy to operate a CD-player or a turntable, don't worry, there is adequate software available that will do all the work for you. It is an easy job.
Becoming an artist is nearly as easy. Of course you have to learn how to operate sequencers and synthesizers but with a powerful computer it's not that hard anymore. The good thing about such a free spirited scene as the trance scene is that you don't need musical talent or to even waste endless hours in the studio with arrangement and sound design. You don't need to produce some top quality, inventive tracks. An average standard is quite enough and easy to reach. There are many labels out there seeking to release the most tracks in the shortest period of time, so it shouldn't be a problem for you to get in the game, and thanks to the drugs the doped up crowd will love your music anyway as long as it has enough punchy breaks to rave up the dancefloor. If the avarage drug-seeker can easily classify your music as one of the three established trance styles, you definitely will have some fans screaming and some organizers booking – at least for one summer.
As a DJ and artist you will have easy access to drugs, sex and most of all to a feeling of actually being someone important and beloved. Go that way, it pays off, even if it needs some effort at first.
If you are a woman, congratulations, because you are lucky. You don't have to do much work to become a well accepted part of the scene. You don't have to bother to waste endless hours learning how to operate a pitchable CD-player let alone a synthesizer. All you lucky females need is a slender body, colorful clothes and ethnic-something looking ornaments around your neck and wrists.
Read a book about some cabalistic mumbo jumbo like Reiki, Yoga or Astrology, adopt the posture and glance of a Shiva figurine, chatter with everyone about spiritual issues and universal love and you will be very well respected within the scene as a wise and independant woman, especially if you're over thirty years old.
For younger women it can be helpful to have an outstanding boyfriend to attend to. Let it be a drug dealer, a DJ, an organizer or just a guy with a remarkable look like a crazy haircut or some flamboyant outfit. The important thing is that he is well-established within your local trance scene. By dating him you gain as much acceptance and respect as he does without lifting a finger. All you have to do is be easy, but carefully pick your boyfriends by their social status and learn how to twirl around the dancefloor waving your arms and necklaces like a cute and tiny pixie from wonderland. If you're really good at it, your ugly girlfriend might even get something off your acceptance and glory within the scene. Maybe you will even meet one of those widely travelled old hippie seniors who will just love your tiny waist as much as sharing with you their weird, deranged acid wisdom about the trance journey of life.
*****************
Well, so that's it. Now you know the basics to get into trance.
Welcome to our galaxy and have fun!
© 2008 by Sergio Weigel, Hamburg, Germany
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LOL 
wtf is to be acceped in the scene
who cares come on , "scene".... either its your friends or not
and what is this BS "become dj ar artist" ???
it takes YEARS of HARD WORK to become realy good dj and twice that to become good artist (im talking years of not going to work and sit home and practice!)
and there is no software that "will do the work for you" , this are tools only and u have to have it in mind first , traktor "sync" is great but no way it can replace good dj (just try to make auto mix on , u will see its not even close to be great set)
not to mention womens , like anywhere in the world u can be pritty and its inough (for what again ? getting into the cool gang of psy??) or you can be pritty and smart and offcourse its better life and much more respectful then being the random dj slut.
anywayz what i ment to say is that if u part of the tribe then cool and the door is always open for alikes but if you just not then the last thing you need to do is folow some "quick guide to trancers" in order to become cooler and accepted. specialy the drugs parts - dont do it unless you 100% sure this is what you want - no 100% fun ever guarantee and you should be expirience and with friends and peaple that care from you if you gonna do it.
www.sattelbattle.com
http://yoavweinberg.weebly.com/ |
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a3k
IsraTrance Team
Started Topics :
269
Posts :
7826
Posted : Feb 13, 2008 14:24
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great view and inputs 
funny, but this satirizated vision, is very look a like psychedelic trance nowdays 
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