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Official Jokes Thread
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Anak
Anakoluth
Started Topics :
108
Posts :
2395
Posted : Dec 19, 2004 22:53
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PsyGoatDelic
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
45
Posts :
359
Posted : Dec 20, 2004 19:22
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totally....
scary! |
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Hg
IsraTrance Team
Started Topics :
73
Posts :
1076
Posted : Dec 23, 2004 06:39
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 new definition of bullshit:
Any shit written in isratrance forum is a BULLSHIT!
WHY?
as some of you might recall, isratrance was founded in 1997, year of the Ox, or bull, in the chinese... therefore, shit written here is properly known bullshit.
quod erat demonstrandum
is this the biggest piece of crap around or what? 
 cna't find it |
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blueOrb
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
100
Posts :
1698
Posted : Dec 23, 2004 20:17
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IndiAlien
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
28
Posts :
1224
Posted : Dec 24, 2004 10:18
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aahahahahahaha !!!!!
great one Psyk !!!!
q(@ _ @)p
there is a light that
flashes |
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juice
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
59
Posts :
2081
Posted : Dec 24, 2004 11:49
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After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant
> arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save
> their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each
> other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
>
> When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped
> right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be
> the problem?"
>
> Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything
> to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour
> describing all the wrongs within their marriage. After 5 - - 10 - -
> 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to
> her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for
> several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat
> there speechless. He looked over at the husband who was staring in
> disbelief at what had happened.
>
> The counselor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least
> twice a week!"
>
> The husband scratched his head and replied, " Ok, I can bring her
> here on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Studies indicate that listening to music is good for digestion. |
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juice
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
59
Posts :
2081
Posted : Dec 24, 2004 11:49
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One night a guy went to his girlfriend?s home. As they were about to say
> goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the
mood.
>
> With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and
> smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
>
> Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
>
> " Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
>
> "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
>
> "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
>
> "No way It's just too risky!"
>
> "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
>
> "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
>
> Oh yes you can. Please?" ....................
>
> "No, no. I just can't"
>
> "I'm begging you ...
>
> Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's sister
> showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she said
> "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need be,
> mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all
> of ours....
>
> TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE CALLING BELL !!
>
>
Studies indicate that listening to music is good for digestion. |
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rave_girl
Started Topics :
2
Posts :
142
Posted : Dec 26, 2004 20:26
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@ juice................dude his last joke of urs was crazy.......keep up the job 
-------------------------
kEEp RoLLIN......... |
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Jeto
Jeto
Started Topics :
258
Posts :
3252
Posted : Dec 27, 2004 00:50
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IndiAlien
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
28
Posts :
1224
Posted : Dec 28, 2004 22:08
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oooooooo....... u killed it Jeto !!!! 
pastafarians.... hollipinoes.... ice-cubes....... hind-jews.... hahhahaha
this guy is hillarious !
q(@ _ @)p
there is a light that
flashes |
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Jeto
Jeto
Started Topics :
258
Posts :
3252
Posted : Dec 29, 2004 09:18
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juice
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
59
Posts :
2081
Posted : Dec 29, 2004 10:32
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About a century ago, the Pope decided that all the Sardars had to leave
Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sardar community.
So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of
the Sardar community. If the Sardar won, the Sardars could stay. If the Pope
won, the Sardars would leave. The Sardars realized that they had no choice.
So they picked a middle aged man named Santa Singh to represent them. Santa
Singh asked for one
Condition to be added to the debate. To make it more interesting, the debate
was to be conducted using sign language and neither side would be allowed to
talk.
The Pope agreed.
The day of the great debate came.
Santa Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before
the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Santa Singh looked back at him and raised one finger.
The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around! And his head.
Santa Singh pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Santa Singh pulled out an
apple.
The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sardars
can stay. "
An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what had
happened.
The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the trinity. He
responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God
common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him
that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and
showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and
wafer to show that God absolves us from ur sins. He pulled out an apple to
remind me of original sin.
He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"
Meanwhile, the Sardar community had crowded a round Santa Singh.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Well", said Santa Singh, "First he said to me that the Sardars had three
days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving.
Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sardars. I let him
know that we were staying right here."
"And then?" asked the crowd.
"I don't know," said Santa Singh, "He took out his lunch and I took out
mine".
Studies indicate that listening to music is good for digestion. |
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blueOrb
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
100
Posts :
1698
Posted : Dec 29, 2004 16:28
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Quote:
|
On 2004-12-24 11:49, juice wrote:
One night a guy went to his girlfriend?s home. As they were about to say
> goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the
mood.
>
> With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and
> smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
>
> Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
>
> " Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
>
> "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
>
> "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
>
> "No way It's just too risky!"
>
> "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
>
> "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
>
> Oh yes you can. Please?" ....................
>
> "No, no. I just can't"
>
> "I'm begging you ...
>
> Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's sister
> showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she said
> "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need be,
> mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all
> of ours....
>
> TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE CALLING BELL !!
>
>
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hey thats fromthe master card ad..........ill try uploading it for u guys somewhere 
New mixes on
http://soundcloud.com/blueorb
Older Mixes on
http://blueorb.podomatic.com/ |
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Andrey
Inactive User
Started Topics :
62
Posts :
1221
Posted : Jan 1, 2005 15:31
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Words From An Old Philosopher
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat
in girl.
Man who jizz in cash register come into money.
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
Man who fart in church must sit in own pew.
Man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.
Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.
Baseball wrong, Man with four balls cannot walk.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
Learn to masturbate, come in handy.
Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.
Man who buy drowned cat must pay for wet pussy.
Virgin like balloon, one prick, all gone.
Man who lives in glass house should dress in basement.
Sea>Israel>Ben-Gurion>Tel-Aviv>Ramat-Goa>Marom Neve
is this pure reality could we be led?
25500 NIS for 1 hour DJ set
30500 NIS for 45-50 minutes of Live~ |
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Pt.
IsraTrance Senior Member
Started Topics :
236
Posts :
6106
Posted : Jan 3, 2005 19:18
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Hi there..!
Saying that people get influenced by computer games, is bullshit!
If so.. my generation would be doing like Pacman,
moving around in dark rooms and corridores listening to monotonous music while eating little round pills.
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