| Author
|
Official Jokes Thread
|
Forest dreams
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
107
Posts :
9697
Posted : Apr 17, 2006 11:26
|
^^hohohohhhahahaha
Two men are in court on drug charges. The judge says, "If, over the weekend, you can persuade enough people to give up drugs, I'll let you two off."
Back in court on Monday, the judge asks for their results.
"I persuaded 10 people to give up drugs forever," the first man says.
"That's great," the judge replies. "What did you tell them?"
"I drew two circles; one big, one small. I told them the big circle was their brain before drugs, and the little circle was their brain after drugs."
The other defendant says, "I got 100 people to give up drugs!"
"One hundred! How?" asks the judge.
"Well, I drew the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison...'"
  Nothing is said that has not been said before. |
|
|
|
sure_smoke_alot
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
45
Posts :
6874
Posted : Apr 18, 2006 09:13
|
@forest dreams
 
the problem with valuing art is, till u dont understand it, it's worthless but wen u do understand it, it's priceless!! |
|
|
|
lokus
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
12
Posts :
684
Posted : Apr 18, 2006 09:44
|
hahahaha
- last possible solution
- trick music
- ambivalent records
myspace.com/lokuz
ps: y trance?
|
|
|
|
exotic
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
200
Posts :
5057
Posted : Apr 18, 2006 18:02
|
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia Coli Bacteria found in water that contains faeces.
In other words, we are consuming one kilo of shit. However, we do not run that risk when drinking rum, gin, whiskey, beer, wine or other liquors because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermentation.
It is my duty to communicate to all of you people who are drinking water, to stop doing so. It has been scientifically proven that it is unhealthy and bad for you.
THEREFORE - It is better to drink alcohol and talk shit than to drink water and be full of it !!
missing plug-in |
|
|
|
exotic
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
200
Posts :
5057
Posted : Apr 18, 2006 18:17
|
A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love. She said, "Aww, so solly... exkooz me pleazo, Flont hole so happy back hole laugh out loud!"
missing plug-in |
|
|
|
JaLi
Started Topics :
6
Posts :
173
Posted : Apr 19, 2006 01:10
|
|
^^hahahah lol
Reasons to be cheerful are 3..! |
|
|
|
juice
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
59
Posts :
2081
Posted : Apr 20, 2006 13:54
|
Who's the Boss?
A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
"I can't wear your trousers." she said.
"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.
"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"
She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."
Studies indicate that listening to music is good for digestion. |
|
|
|
sure_smoke_alot
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
45
Posts :
6874
Posted : Apr 21, 2006 08:39
|
|
the problem with valuing art is, till u dont understand it, it's worthless but wen u do understand it, it's priceless!! |
|
|
|
sure_smoke_alot
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
45
Posts :
6874
Posted : Apr 22, 2006 08:44
|
A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with
his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but he
couldn't get a clear picture of the problems. Finally he asked, "Do you
ever watch your wife's face while you're having sex?"
"Well, yes, I did once."
"And how did she look?"
"Oh boy, she looked very angry!"
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere.
"Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me,
you say that you have only seen your wife's face once during sex.
That seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw her face
that time?"
"She was watching us through the window."
the problem with valuing art is, till u dont understand it, it's worthless but wen u do understand it, it's priceless!! |
|
|
|
exotic
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
200
Posts :
5057
Posted : Apr 22, 2006 17:10
|
2 prostitutes were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Prostitute 1: I smell sperm!
Prostitute 2: Sorry, I burped!
missing plug-in |
|
|
|
Forest dreams
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
107
Posts :
9697
Posted : Apr 22, 2006 23:20
|
|
^
Nothing is said that has not been said before. |
|
|
|
exotic
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
200
Posts :
5057
Posted : Apr 24, 2006 18:34
|
A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got off the hospital bed, slapped her husband and shouted, "I told you not to do it doggy style!"
missing plug-in |
|
|
|
sure_smoke_alot
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
45
Posts :
6874
Posted : Apr 25, 2006 08:53
|
|
the problem with valuing art is, till u dont understand it, it's worthless but wen u do understand it, it's priceless!! |
|
|
|
Forest dreams
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
107
Posts :
9697
Posted : Apr 25, 2006 22:13
|
Some Underware
The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any undies?" her husband demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear."
Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too is wearing no undies.
"Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no undies. Why not?"
She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me."
He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's 10 Go and buy yourself some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
"Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie! Where are yer drawers?"
She too explains, "Ya dinna gi' me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any."
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love 'o Jesus, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."
Nothing is said that has not been said before. |
|
|
|
sure_smoke_alot
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
45
Posts :
6874
Posted : Apr 26, 2006 08:41
|
Every married man keeps wondering every evening:
Should i go out and look at what i cannot fuck or ...
Stay home and fuck what i cannot look at?
the problem with valuing art is, till u dont understand it, it's worthless but wen u do understand it, it's priceless!! |
|
|
|
