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Official Jokes Thread
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Forest dreams
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
107
Posts :
9697
Posted : Jan 27, 2006 12:07
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Quote:
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On 2006-01-15 19:29, Roman Brisker wrote:
when Pinokio learned to masturbate....he burned!
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  Nothing is said that has not been said before. |
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Rui Ferreira
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
43
Posts :
744
Posted : Jan 27, 2006 23:17
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i have a remarkable memory...i remember everything i forgot  |
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Rui Ferreira
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
43
Posts :
744
Posted : Jan 27, 2006 23:18
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i have a remarkable memory...i perfectly remember everything i forgot |
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CRX(HSS Records)
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
97
Posts :
2707
Posted : Jan 28, 2006 01:51
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the ant goes to the She-elephant's home and knocks the door
who is there?the kid-elephant answers
is your mother inside?says the ant
no!says the kid elephant
ok,tell her that Tony came by said , the ant and walked away
Helicon Sounds Music
www.hssr.gr |
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Kalari
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
11
Posts :
385
Posted : Jan 28, 2006 20:30
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On 2006-01-10 09:16, =((exotic>>>=== wrote:
Michael Jackson announces that he is a proud father of a baby boy. He asks the doctor how soon after birth could he have sex. The doctor tells him he should wait until the kid is atleast 12 or 13 years old.
Q> What do michael jackson and shool principals have in common ?
A> Both are a pain in the arse to kids
Q>How does michael jackson pick his nose ?
A> He looks for one in a catalogue
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hey man
too good, just too good
just where was this thread all the time
lol
m totally fucked man
my stomach is painin now!!
nipple nipple little star,
can i fuck u in my car,
up above the breast so high,
always milky, never dry,
let me press it, dont be shy,
in the bra, its gonna die!!!
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Jan 29, 2006 11:32
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A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little while."
Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom.
"Before you look in there," he says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who smacked our asses just for sucking our thumbs."
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Jan 29, 2006 11:38
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One day a single mother was in the grocery store with her 4 kids. They were acting up. Bad little kids. They were running around grabbing items off the shelves crying and screaming all over the place. The mother grabbed all and said "I should have swallowed all of you!"
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Jan 29, 2006 11:42
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A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Jan 29, 2006 11:43
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To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Feb 1, 2006 14:12
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A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also." They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one." The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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exotic
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
200
Posts :
5057
Posted : Feb 1, 2006 16:04
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Two friends were walking up a mountain . On reaching the top they see people bungee jumping on the other side .
Very excited one asks the other ," Want to go bungee jumping ? "
The other thinks for a moment and says, " Man i came into this world as a result of broken rubber .. i dont want to leave in the same fashion."
missing plug-in |
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keyop
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
32
Posts :
286
Posted : Feb 2, 2006 14:53
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Q: Did you hear about the Dyslexic pimp?
A: He bought a warehouse. |
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Forest dreams
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
107
Posts :
9697
Posted : Mar 4, 2006 10:24
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he is doing a
show in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy, Diane, on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts
shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you
think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's
hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who
keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and
from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind
continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women
in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
"You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little Dude on your knee!"
Nothing is said that has not been said before. |
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headyatail2000
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
27
Posts :
2304
Posted : Mar 7, 2006 22:20
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A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town..
Things were getting hot and heavy when the girl stopped the boy. I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker; and I charge $20 for sex, she said.
The boy just looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. Why aren't we going anywhere? asked the girl.
Oh, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver; and the fare back to town is $25.
source-bianca
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A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry.... we can't hire you." "But wait," the man says. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!" "Really? Great! Show me!" So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking. "Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over the country!" "Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!" "Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?" "Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"
source - charamangel
<~< "the best things in life aren't things" - art buchwald >~> |
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robomarket
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
35
Posts :
970
Posted : Mar 7, 2006 23:32
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Here is a macedonian joke for hi-times
but you have to say it out of nowhere, very spontaneous and with great seriousness. watch the effect
two cows were sitting on a tree and a crocodile flew by and asked them: what are you doing up on this tree?
-we are eating apples.
-but this is a pear tree!
-well we brought some from home.
And then the crocodile said: "NONSENSE" amd flew away.
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