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Official Jokes Thread
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exotic
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
200
Posts :
5057
Posted : Dec 2, 2005 08:49
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I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little
thing bothering me ... it was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and
generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me,
and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to
be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me
that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and
couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you
want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When
she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the
stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the
front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very
happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better
man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car
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Forest dreams
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
107
Posts :
9697
Posted : Dec 2, 2005 09:07
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Quote:
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On 2005-12-02 08:49, =((exotic>>>=== wrote:
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car
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son of a....! 
Nothing is said that has not been said before. |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Dec 2, 2005 11:20
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Quote:
On 2005-12-02 08:49, =((exotic>>>=== wrote:
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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exotic
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
200
Posts :
5057
Posted : Dec 3, 2005 14:49
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A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishingup her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you 800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 and leaves.The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the
bathroom, her husbandasks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies."Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the 800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
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headyatail2000
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
27
Posts :
2304
Posted : Dec 3, 2005 22:06
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gud jokes exotic
!!!
<~< "the best things in life aren't things" - art buchwald >~> |
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exotic
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
200
Posts :
5057
Posted : Dec 4, 2005 10:53
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A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling
the car, he stealthily slid his hand down to her
leg.The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide down to her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity
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Pt.
IsraTrance Senior Member
Started Topics :
236
Posts :
6106
Posted : Dec 5, 2005 14:01
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Jerusalem
In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, each day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out.
She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.
> > "I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"
> > "For about 60 years."
> > "60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
> > "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray
for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."
> > "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
> > "Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."
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headyatail2000
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
27
Posts :
2304
Posted : Dec 5, 2005 20:59
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A rabbit was hopping through the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling
a joint. The rabbit said,"Giraffe, don't do drugs. Come, run with me
through the forest." The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint.
He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit. They came upon an
elephant snorting cocaine. The Rabbit said,"Elephant, don't do drugs. Come,
run with us through the forest." The elephant looked at his razor blade and
mirror, tossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe. The
three animals then came across a lion about to shoot up. The Rabbit said,
"Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest." The lion
looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle and
started to beat up the rabbit. Horrified, the giraffe and elephant asked,
"Lion, why are you doing this? He was trying to help you." The lion
answered, "This little f****r? He makes me run around the forest like a
f***ing idiot every time he's on ecstasy."
source : psychoshiv
<~< "the best things in life aren't things" - art buchwald >~> |
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Forest dreams
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
107
Posts :
9697
Posted : Dec 5, 2005 22:37
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hahahahahahha
@ headyatail2000
good one dude...!
lmao!
Nothing is said that has not been said before. |
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exotic
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
200
Posts :
5057
Posted : Dec 6, 2005 11:29
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nice one headyatail dude hehehehe
Donald rumsfield is addressing a high level defence gathering at the pentagon about the latest developments in the war in iraq and the normal bullshit about the war against terrorism . Rumsfied mentions , " Three brazilian people died in iraq ."
George Bush looks completely flabbergasted and flummoxed ? he leans over to rumsfield and asks him completely oblivious of the microphone in front of them .. " btw donny how many million make a brazilian ???? "
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headyatail2000
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
27
Posts :
2304
Posted : Dec 7, 2005 13:14
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brazilionnnnnnnnn
exotic! keep em coming!!
<~< "the best things in life aren't things" - art buchwald >~> |
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Dec 7, 2005 17:02
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exotic dude from where tha fcuk u getting all this keep em coming
peace as always
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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Wandering High
Started Topics :
0
Posts :
177
Posted : Dec 9, 2005 22:06
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hahahahahha......toooo funny......nice one's exotic & headyatail..... |
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Wandering High
Started Topics :
0
Posts :
177
Posted : Dec 9, 2005 22:13
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ok....this one, an 82 yr old guy told me....we call him 'speedy'
there was a sardar standing on a road when a beautiful indian lady dressed in an elegant saree walked by....
so the sardar went up to her n said " madam, mere dil ka phool aapke saree mein hai "
so the lady replied " mera bud ka baal tere daadi mein hai " |
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juice
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
59
Posts :
2081
Posted : Dec 10, 2005 10:28
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@ jai_jai_Anjuna......grow up boy...
Studies indicate that listening to music is good for digestion. |
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