trippy
Started Topics :
5
Posts :
375
Posted : May 3, 2007 18:00
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"Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want - stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you're delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive it doesn't matter which number you press, no-one will answer you. If you are dyslexic, press 69696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep - after the beep please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later. If you have low self-esteem hang up - all our operators are too busy to talk to you."
  "I acknowledge the privilege of being alive in a human body at this moment, endowed with senses, memories, emotions, thoughts, and the space of mind in its wisdom aspect." |
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