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40 Signs That You've Been Hanging Around Synths and Samplers Too Long
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metacortex
Started Topics :
4
Posts :
14
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 04:02
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The Top 40 Signs That You've Been Hanging Around Synths and Samplers
Too Long:
40. You not only tap in time to the indicators on your car, but know
how many BPM they flash at.
39. You go to hear an orchestra with your girlfriend, and while she
listens to the beautiful music, you calculate the polyphony required
to reproduce it.
38. In addition to your in and out trays at work, you also have one marked
'thru'.
37. Last Christmas you synced your Christmas tree lights to your TB-303.
36. The accelerator on your car has aftertouch.
35. Your cat's name is Octave.
34. You expect the cutoff frequency of your door to change when you turn
the knob...
33. Your girlfriend/wife drapes a wig over your favorite synth to remind
you what she looks like.
32. You step out of your studio and realize that your family moved and you
don't have a clue when it happened.
31. You have "Frequency" and "Resonance" tattooed above your nipples.
(Don't ask where the pitchbend is...)
30. Your daughter's new boyfriend has tattoos, rides a Harley, and doesn't
have a job. But you don't mind because his name is Roland.
29. Your telephone answering machine message took 2 days to write and
produce.
28. There is no couch, coffee table, dinner table or chairs in your
apartment; only racks, mixers, keyboards, cables and power cords.
27. You have bass bins for end tables.
26. It is dangerous to walk around in your own living room at night.
(See 2)
25. There's a giant yellow ball in the sky, and your not quite sure
what it is, but when you go outside it burns out your retinas and
makes your skin glow.
24. You wait until 12:01 A.M. to read the on-line music classified
ads and can effectively scan them in under a minute.
23. You neer answer the phone. (Hmm...I wonder if it's to get
people to listen to the answering message you spent so much time on
in 29?)
22. When all your significant other has to say, "Oh no, not another
one" and you know what they're talking about.
21. If you just like to sit in the dark and watch all the pretty
lights blink and glow.
20. If you perk-up on Sundays when you hear the word "Prophet".
19. You would rather fiddle with your synthesizer's knobs than
fiddle with your girlfriend's/wife's knobs.
18. Somehow, you haven't been able to budget for clothes for 2+
years, but you have found thousands of dollars to buy gear.
17. Your girlfriend/wife goes to bed, You go to your STUDIO.
16. Your friends say "Why would you pay $XXX for that piece of
crap?" and you glare back and actually get offended...
15. You can tell the difference between 12dB/24dB filters by ear...
14. You prefer "analog" instead of "digital" home appliances
because 'they just work better '
13. You start wondering if you can obtain a 24 db neural implant to
filter your ever-increasing tinnitus problem.
12. You devise a method of connecting your CV sequencer to a mains
relay to trigger the coffee machine every 1,024 gate pulses
11. Every piece of clothing you own has a synth manufacturers logo
on it. You scam them for free every trade show you attend. This
allows more money for the important things in life.
10. Your wife/girlfriend leaves you. You go into a depression for a
while, then decide you can win her back with a simple, touching and
heartfelt song, written especially for her. 6 months later, you are
still mixing it.
9. You go to a trade show. You rush over to the brand new synth on
display, fiddle for 5 minutes, declare it "a piece of crap" and then
go on to tell the company reps how it works, where the PCM samples
came from, and offer to do them better samples from your own analog
wardrobes all in a very loud voice. They give you an embroidered
tour jacket on the condition that you go away NOW. (see 11)
8. Synth manufacturers call YOU for technical support.
7. First thing you think of after sex is turning on your synths.
6. You get excited about talking electronic toys and try to subvert
them into saying bad words or doing weird stuff so you can sample
them.
5. You dream of finding a $50.00 Moog 55 at a garage sale, and after
you've thought of it, you stop at every one you see!
4. You carry around a picture of your modular in your wallet to show
everyone.
3. Your monthly power bill is always in the triple digits.
2. You have a rack-mounted microwave oven.
...and the the #1 sign that you've been hanging around synths and
samplers too long:
You understand every last term and joke used in this article |
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FluoSamsara (Oxygen)
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
84
Posts :
1164
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 04:17
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huauauhaha!
great one  |
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WAVELOGIX
Wavelogix
Started Topics :
136
Posts :
1214
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 08:01
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yes man ... this is fuckin' funny ..... lmao ..
4m where the hell did u get it !!!!!
sounds like the symptoms of a total synth geek !
hehehe.... |
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Flake_of_Freedom
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
61
Posts :
414
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 12:40
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Hahah I can't stop lathing!!! Great work man!
Keep up! Btw... After I read this top 40... I understood that some of those things apply on me... now I understand what’s going on in my life ;-)
Bom!
F.
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Carthago
Started Topics :
4
Posts :
31
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 13:20
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ROFL that's awesome!
37. Last Christmas you synced your Christmas tree lights to your TB-303.
LOL!
btw : my girlfriend said I'm crazy because I have a microphone about me so I can record samples with my mp3 player everywhere 
-Carthago |
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Mike A
Subra
Started Topics :
185
Posts :
3954
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 13:45
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true true 
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Amygdala
Amygdala
Started Topics :
12
Posts :
175
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 16:35
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I actually did the answering machine-thing once... :-i |
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ZilDoggo
Started Topics :
4
Posts :
663
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 17:13
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lmao ., how's this for geek:
i read " Hahah I can't stop lathing!!!"
as " Hahah I can't stop latching!!!"
damn i'm a signal geek
greets.,
aka., |
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YAT (vxzp violation)
IsraTrance Junior Member
Started Topics :
35
Posts :
327
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 23:17
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"You not only tap in time to the indicators on your car, but know
how many BPM they flash at"
this one is true for me
 Youth of the Galaxy...
The Time Has Come To Demand Your Freedom!!!
(Doof - Youth of the galaxy, 1996) |
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orange
Fat Data
Started Topics :
154
Posts :
3918
Posted : Sep 19, 2004 23:32
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i realy tried to cuttoff the filter coffee so i send a patch in an envelope to a doctor and he said to me 'my friend dont push your threshold to the limits' aftr that i stop the wave surfing cos it was realy modulating my brain.
my girl left me and i said to her 'where you gonna find someone like me to tweak your knobs like i do?'
finnaly i found my balance and i live in mono
orange
http://www.landmark-recordings.com/
http://soundcloud.com/kymamusic |
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Eduardo
Tactical Strike
Started Topics :
15
Posts :
53
Posted : Sep 20, 2004 00:37
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hahahhahahahahha
i have a dog called MOOG !!! aheuaheuaeha
am i a freak ? lol
cheers man cool topic |
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Elad
Tsabeat/Sattel Battle
Started Topics :
158
Posts :
5306
Posted : Sep 20, 2004 03:23
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Colin OOOD
Moderator
Started Topics :
95
Posts :
5380
Posted : Sep 20, 2004 03:55
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medir
Inactive User
Started Topics :
113
Posts :
1193
Posted : Sep 20, 2004 09:40
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...stuttering stanley...stuuuttterriing staaaanley....stuttterring staanley...
experiment !
make it your motto day and night.
experiment,
and it will lead you to the light.
the apple on the top of the tree
is never too high to achieve,
so take an example from eve...
experiment ! |
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Colin OOOD
Moderator
Started Topics :
95
Posts :
5380
Posted : Sep 20, 2004 15:27
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41. You don't hear the words to any of the songs on the radio because you spend all your time working out how many hi-hat samples they use and how long the patterns are.
42. You hear a whooshy noise in a club and shout 'Enigma!'
43. When your friends are DJing at a party you are constantly leaning over the DJ mixer to tweak the eq - 'just to get the best out of the sound system'.
44. When DJing you ALWAYS only run the mixer as loud as the sound engineer says you should.
45. You know exactly how GMS made that sound.
46. Infected Mushroom pester you on MSN for technical advice.
47. You have a bank of your own original sounds for the FM7.
48. You can make your computer speak without using a speech synthesis program.
49. You get to visit the Cistine Chapel and the first thing you do is clap your hands, listen and say, "Hmmmm..."
50. You know the resonant frequency of your girlfriend's foofoo.
Mastering - http://mastering.OOOD.net :: www.is.gd/mastering
OOOD 5th album 'You Think You Are' - www.is.gd/tobuyoood :: www.OOOD.net
www.facebook.com/OOOD.music :: www.soundcloud.com/oood
Contact for bookings/mastering - colin@oood.net |
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