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30 things I've learnt from porn
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coSmiIic r080t0n3
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
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Posts :
2340
Posted : Feb 12, 2007 21:42
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1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy f***s.
11. People in the 70's couldn't f*** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before f***ing the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
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It's time to move on to the next step in the psychedelic revolution. We've reached a certain point, but we're not moving any more.
Ken Kesey |
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Kaz
IsraTrance Full Member
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Posted : Feb 12, 2007 22:12
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coSmiIic r080t0n3
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
72
Posts :
2340
Posted : Feb 14, 2007 13:32
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31. The camera man is a luckey fukkerr ..
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It's time to move on to the next step in the psychedelic revolution. We've reached a certain point, but we're not moving any more.
Ken Kesey |
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gaspard
Yab Yum
Started Topics :
50
Posts :
641
Posted : Feb 14, 2007 17:23
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hehehehe!! important lessons there!!
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Terry Pratchett |
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Pt.
IsraTrance Senior Member
Started Topics :
236
Posts :
6106
Posted : Feb 14, 2007 18:28
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32. If you are bonking two hot silicon babes licking each others pussy while you bang hard and fast .. You should ALWAYS last more then ten minutes. Only loser’s will come to fast. In general, don’t spurt too soon. No girls want a one minute man. |
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coSmiIic r080t0n3
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
72
Posts :
2340
Posted : Feb 14, 2007 18:47
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33. Slapping tha women on tha rear make them shout for more.
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It's time to move on to the next step in the psychedelic revolution. We've reached a certain point, but we're not moving any more.
Ken Kesey |
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coSmiIic r080t0n3
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
72
Posts :
2340
Posted : Feb 14, 2007 18:48
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34. Ava devine is hot . 
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It's time to move on to the next step in the psychedelic revolution. We've reached a certain point, but we're not moving any more.
Ken Kesey |
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talolard
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
64
Posts :
282
Posted : Feb 16, 2007 16:15
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35. In american highschools, detention is giving the principal head.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
natanofgaza@yahoo.com |
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coSmiIic r080t0n3
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
72
Posts :
2340
Posted : Feb 27, 2007 20:25
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35. no matter how straight they look they are always prepared to sleep with another man
36. Even Midgets, old people and ladyboys have sex!
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It's time to move on to the next step in the psychedelic revolution. We've reached a certain point, but we're not moving any more.
Ken Kesey |
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juice
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
59
Posts :
2081
Posted : Feb 28, 2007 12:12
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i m still learning..........
Studies indicate that listening to music is good for digestion. |
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Pt.
IsraTrance Senior Member
Started Topics :
236
Posts :
6106
Posted : Feb 28, 2007 12:15
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Quote:
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On 2007-02-28 12:12, juice wrote:
i m still learning..........
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man, how many years of education do you need??
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jabba
Started Topics :
9
Posts :
662
Posted : Feb 28, 2007 13:00
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37. God always is remembered no matter what , both the parties say "Oh Gawd" in a regular interval 
To focus sometimes you need to spin hard on your soul's axis..... just don't ask how and what it means ;) |
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faxinadu
Faxi Nadu / Elmooht
Started Topics :
282
Posts :
3394
Posted : Feb 28, 2007 14:53
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Meta-Morphosis
IsraTrance Senior Member
Started Topics :
216
Posts :
4980
Posted : Feb 28, 2007 20:36
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Some serious porn following here...lessons for you when you are next in bed is slapping her.
“What we need is the development of the Inner Spiritual man, the unique individual, whose treasure is hidden in the symbols of our mythological tradition and in man’s unconscious psych.” - CJ Jung |
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coSmiIic r080t0n3
IsraTrance Full Member
Started Topics :
72
Posts :
2340
Posted : Feb 28, 2007 22:31
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38. Ugly people still get laid
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It's time to move on to the next step in the psychedelic revolution. We've reached a certain point, but we're not moving any more.
Ken Kesey |
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DDDDDDD